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Covered In Mice
Chapter 62: The Oder Of The Phoenix 
10th-Jun-2008 10:57 am
Furry

Crap Crossover Day strikes again! If anyone knows why someone thought Dean Thomas would make a good gangsta, feel free to let me know. Similarly, why Jareth from Labyrinth would make a good substitute for Ginny. At least there are pirates, though. Everything’s better with pirates.

 

Best New Word: “Blaisebrought”. Guess that’s near Middlesbrough.

If only Ginny hadn't died

 

(the fic’s summary:)

Quite a reputation I've got eh? Want you know how I lost my virginity? So do I' Based on the show Veronica Mars. Hermione's 7th year is spent finding Ginny's killer, DMHGRW more HGRW this time around

*

Hermione looked up from her books to see Dean Thomas and his gang walking over. No one else was in the library not now, not even the Library, Madam Price. Price trusted Hermione to be alone in the Library with her precious books.

*

'This is my school Hogwarts. It's a school deep in the Scottish wilderness it's also a school for witches and Wizards.'

 

'Back on point, how exactly does a girl end up surrounded by a gang at 4:00AM in the morning in all alone in the library.'

 

'For that answer we'll have to rewind to yesterday.'

*

Hermione had to fight the shock as she saw Harry Potter butt naked taped to a pillar inside the Great hall. For some reason unknown the Professors weren't hadn't noticed yet.

 

"Who put him there?" asked a blond 4th year.

 

"Dean Thomas did it!" chirped in a curly headed 2nd year.

 

"Why doesn't somebody cut him down?" asked the blond again.

 

"Yeah I want to be the guy up there tomorrow," answered the curly headed boy sarcastically.

*

"Move," she ordered Creevy roughly.

 

"Who died and made you the Queen?" He demanded but when Hermione flicked out her wand stepped away.

 

She quickly started to use a slow cutting charm to cut the tape at his hip which was the only thing covering up his father's day.

*

'I used to sit there.'

 

Hermione stared as she sat at lunch stabbing her meatloaf determinedly while studying the actions of her classmates.

 

'At that table.'

 

She was referring to where Draco Malfoy and Ronald Weasley were laughing it up at the end of the Gryffindor table.

 

'Let's be honest the only reason I was allowed past the velvet ropes was Ronald Weasley. Youngest son of the famous Pureblooded Weasley's who had recently hit it rich and now owned a Villa in Spain.'

*

Dean shot her a look, "Sister. The only time I care what a woman has to say...is when she's riding my big long broom. Even then, it's not so much words... more a bunch of oohs and ahs you know?"

*

A younger Hermione walked through the halls happily.

 

'Later that night, as I was heading back to the Common Room from sending Harry a letter, my Prefect badge buzzed'

 

Hermione looked down and read the badge with a worried look.

 

'The buzz was only used during extremely bad situation like if Death Eaters attacked again. The words Perfect disappeared and the "words disturbance at the lake appeared"'

 

'I ran'

*

Dean returned his attention to her, "All right, one week. After that, we come for you... your boy, and your little cat too," he sneered.

*

The room of requirements had been fitted with bedrooms off the main party room and a hot tube. Malfoy brought the Firewhiskey and Blaisebrought the ladies.

*

"We could get in a lot of trouble for this," Harry said.

 

Hermione looked non puss, "Okay I'll do it"

 

Dead on the Inside

 

(the fic’s summary:)

For the past three years young Sirius Black has had a crush on his best friends twin sister, Emma Potter. He soon finds out she feels the same way, but what will stop them? This story is about the beginning of the Oder of the Pheonix and SB's love life

 

The Medallion

 

Pirate captain Jackson Sweanson was the most notorious pirate of them all, he had killed 379 people since he started sailing. Jackson was known as a blond hound monster, cold hearted and would care for no one. Jackson had 23 pirates on board his shit the Hades Way, which at the moment was filled with treasure, after 7 years of searching he may have found the thing to empty his ship.

*

Two months after his visit with Dr. Ledam Jackson was at the place the medallion lead. His father’s cave. Someone had stolen the medallion from his father and before he could retrieve it he died. Jackson had heard his dying wish and that was to find the medallion and go to the cave and add to his treasure to one day be spent on the fines of the world.

*

The Marauder was gliding through the water, up on its deck stood Captain James, not man y knew his last name, and in fact only 3 other people knew. Sirius Black who was first mate, Remus Lupin second mate and Peter Pettigrew who was the shops cook.

*

“Remus my good man, looks like were gaining fast upon that British ship”

“Aye sir, tis look like they carry a heavy load, we will walk away with gold in out pockets”

“You mean more gold” James teased, they laughed together.

“Captain I’ll take the wheel, you ready the crew” Remus said.

“Are you ordering around the captain?” Sirius said throwing his arm around James’ shoulder.

“Aye, tis I am”

*

Caption Johnson had no idea Lily was a female, he thought her a 16-year-old male named Alex, the cook’s son. Lily Evans was actually a 22 year old female, she had long red hair from her father which she kept piled underneath her hat, emerald eyes from her mother and a pout like her grandmothers. Her spirit matched her looks and often got her in trouble.

*

She scurried around the fighting trying her best to make it to the planks connected by the other ship. Lily tripped and stumbled earning scrapes on her hands and knees, she kept on going. Finally reaching the planks she looked back upon the soon to be distant ship. She turned back and took 3 steps across the nearest plank to find something holding her back, she turned her head to see a tall man with a muscular build, he had messy black hair and warm hazel eyes which were covered with spectacles.

 

Oh god, why couldn’t he just not see me, look he is wearing specks he shouldn’t of saw me, oh great looks like I will be joining you soon parents.

*

She turnedto leavebut was immediately asked.

 

“whats your name lad?”

 

Instead of lying like she had been for so many years she took off her hat and let her hair swirl around her. Caption Johnson gasped from her left.

 

“y-your a giiirl?” he exclaimed

 

Lily just ignored him and blushed. “my names Lily caption”

*

“What is wrong with there being a woman on board?” Lily asked, her tempter flaring to life.

*

“Aye, and just a small comment, but you should learn to speak less properly, it’s not appropriate of a pirate.”

 

“AND DRINK LIKE ONE!” yelled a drunken Sirius as he passed by.

 

James laughed. “Sirius likes him rum.”

*

She really is attractive isn’t she? He shook his head, desperately trying to rid himself of the thought of a crewmate actually being attractive.

 

Lily sat up as well, and when their eyes met James felt his heart leap as he looked into her endless green orbs.

*

Lily received a shock when James hand touched hers; she quickly dismissed it and allowed herself to be pulled to land. Suddenly a though occured to her and she pulled at the hand holding hers.

*

“Come on, relax, we’ll even take a drink with you,” James offered.

 

Peter laughed and received a glare from James and Lily.

 

“Okay, ready Lils?”

 

She nodded; they all picked up their glasses. Lily took the first sip and she slammed her cup down forcefully and raised her hands to her throat gasping for hair.

*

(an author’s note:)

This chapter was going to be longer, in fact i had it all planned out however i changed my mind at the last minute. I havn't updated in a bit and i apologize however the beta that was helping me edit hasnt returned it. So not only are you getting a short chapter but a unedited it one. Truly sorry. :D

*

James remembered her telling him that she couldn’t fight. He put his hands on her shoulders to calm her down and took a deep breathe trying to calm himself as well. He couldn’t bear to see her be caught.

 

“Lily listen to me, I want you to run down under the deck and into the galleys there I want you to go to a big box of scum and move it to the left and return it after u slip behind it, then continue to go further back to some more boxes ofscum I want you to hop over the first four and then move the fifth over the your right there will be a slightly ajar trap door leading to a dark room. Go there and sit, when it is safe I or Sirius will come and get you.” He placed a kiss on her forehead and pushed her towards the stairs.

*

(James is fighting Captain Riddle:)

James groaned under the pressure of the old mans sword.

*

STOMP STOMP STOMP

 

Someone was coming down the stairs, Lily held her breath as her tears were working there ways down her cheeks once again. She closed her eyes and prayed to god.

 

Dear god, I know I have not been the greatest lately and i apologize, but we really need to get though this.

 

Magic is Might

 

(from the fic’s summary:)

After planing a revolt with other rebels, one young girl is caught and sold into forced labor in the Dark Lord' castle. To make matters worse the Dark Lord's son seemes to have an intrest in her.

*

(from the author’s profile:)

There is a girl who wishes. She wishes she could paint better, even thought she knows she sucks at it. She wishes she had more friends, but is afraid to take the chance. she wishes she could dive into a book and live there instead of the real world. This girl loves making people laugh and hates it when people talk down to her to make their own self-esteem go up.

 

This girl loves staring up at the sky and daydreaming in school. This girl is failing English I, she dosen't understand why she has to find out what the parts of a sentance is. She thinks that if people can understand her, she should be okay. she told this to her teacher and earned herself a detention. This girl loves to write. Her grammer isn't perfect, nor is her spelling. But she tries. This girl wants people to switch to State Farm. Are you in good hands?

 

I'm sorry i just had to put that. It was getting a little to serious. Also this girl needs a Beta, anyone up for a challange?

 

Untitled HPLabyrinth

 

(Note: this person’s profile is 7,000 words long.)

*

Disclaim Her: I own nothing except my wild imagination

 

Chapter 1Jareth, meet Harry

 

Jareth was woken up by the feeling of small hands patting his cheeks. Grumbling about being woken up, Jareth cracked open an eye, blinked in amusement/disbelief, shut his eye, rubbed both of them, opened both eyes and stared at the apparition sitting on his chest with a big grin and even bigger green eyes with a livid lightning bolt scar on his forehead along with a mop of unruly black hair.

 

Jareth frowned at the baby, unable to recall what said child might be doing here in his castle, let alone in his bed.

*

“What’s marriage?” Harry asked.

 

Jareth blinked and looked down at the little boy in curiousity, but answered. “Marriage is when two people who love each other very much join together in front of a priest and witnesses. In a marriage, the two people share everything that they own with the other and take care of one another for the rest of their lives. At

 

the very least, you’d have to be 17 in the magical world before you can legally marry. The married couple also tends to move either into a new home, or one will move into the other – usually the grooms’- house.” Jareth explained.

 

“Oh. Why aren’t you married?”

 

Jareth choked on the water he was drinking. “Because I don’t love anyone, Harry.”

 

“Not even me?” Harry asked, for some reason feeling like their was a great big hole in his chest now.

*

“Harry, if this did happen, you must be aware that I am a selfish, possessive man, and that I do not share well and that I get jealous.” Jareth explained.

 

“So? I don’t want to share you with those airheads, and I always get jealous when they have your attention.” Harry stated dismissively.

 

Jareth sighed and shook his head. “Engagement traditionally comes first, along with a ring, Harry.”

 

Harry frowned, trying to think of where he could get a ring for Jareth.

 

Harry Potter and the Prophesized Six

 

(the fic’s summary:)

This is the sequel to my previous story, Harry Potter and the Twists of Fate and starts a few hours after the last chapter of that story. Will Harry and his friends come together to defeat Voldemort or will they fall apart along with the Wizarding World?

Comments 
10th-Jun-2008 11:24 am (UTC)
"The Oder of the Phoenix"
Does "Oder" means something in English?
"Odeur" (French world, of course) means "smell" so, to me, that title is hilarious.



Edited at 2008-06-10 11:25 (UTC)
10th-Jun-2008 01:03 pm (UTC)
Yep, same word. XD It's spelt odor in America and odour in Britain, but "oder" would sound the same, so... nul points to the Suethor! Except for making us laugh.
10th-Jun-2008 01:11 pm (UTC)
Ah, yes! I hadn't thought of the fact that two words can sound the same in English even if a vowel is different. (You'd think Suethors would help me remembering that since their spelling is often so weird - and sometimes very confusing for people like me.)
10th-Jun-2008 12:17 pm (UTC)
Want you know how I lost my virginity?

No, not really. I'm familiar with the procedure.

'Back on point, how exactly does a girl end up surrounded by a gang at 4:00AM in the morning in all alone in the library.'

More to the point, how does a gang end up in a library in the first place?

Jackson had 23 pirates on board his shit the Hades Way,

He eats cannonballs and shit pirates?

“Aye sir, tis look like they carry a heavy load, we will walk away with gold in out pockets”

Wouldn't they sink?







Edited at 2008-06-10 12:17 (UTC)
10th-Jun-2008 01:24 pm (UTC)
Wouldn't they sink?
***It's magic. Or something.
11th-Jun-2008 02:04 am (UTC)
He eats cannonballs and shit pirates?

Just think if it were the other way around!
10th-Jun-2008 01:40 pm (UTC)
Want you know how I lost my virginity? So do I
***Even if you were too drunk to remember, are there that many alternatives?

Dean Thomas and his gang
***Seamus Finnegan? Or did Neville join them?

"We could get in a lot of trouble for this," Harry said.
***Now Kloves are giving Hermiones lines to Harry. Well, it's only fair, as she gets all the other's

Peter Pettigrew who was the shops cook.
***At least the suethor doesn't use him as shark bait. Peter should be relieved.

(James is fighting Captain Riddle:)
James groaned under the pressure of the old mans sword.
***Fighting? Oh.

After planing a revolt with other rebels,
***Rebels into woodcraft?

Disclaim Her: I own nothing except my wild imagination
***And you're welcome to keep it, dear.
10th-Jun-2008 02:38 pm (UTC)
***Rebels into woodcraft?

Them barricades don't build themselves, you know.
10th-Jun-2008 04:24 pm (UTC)
You have to snape them. With the pirates!
11th-Jun-2008 02:05 am (UTC)
You have to snape them.

That little bit of vocabulary trivia finally comes in useful.
10th-Jun-2008 02:47 pm (UTC)
No one else was in the library not now, not even the Library, Madam Price. Price trusted Hermione to be alone in the Library with her precious books.

Hermione is in Madam Price's unoccupied body? And I can't imagine that Madam Pince is too happy about all her books being in a body.

the only thing covering up his father's day.

Well, that's a new one.

after 7 years of searching he may have found the thing to empty his ship.

"Finally, a port with a crane!"

up on its deck stood Captain James, not man y knew

Mann y Knew, the Welsh cabin boy, was currently belowdecks.

I want you to go to a big box of scum and move it to the left and return it after u slip behind it, then continue to go further back to some more boxes ofscum

"Why on earth are you carrying boxes of scum?"
James blushed. "It seemed like a good idea at the time.
10th-Jun-2008 04:26 pm (UTC)
boxes of scum

DX I spent aeons trying to think what this could be a typo for, and I'm no nearer now than when I started.
10th-Jun-2008 04:33 pm (UTC)
I can't imagine that Madam Pince is too happy about all her books being in a body.
***Why not? Keeps those pesky students from manhandling them, you know.
10th-Jun-2008 04:46 pm (UTC)
*Suspicious* So how did Hermione get in?
10th-Jun-2008 04:58 pm (UTC)
Femmeslash gone wrong, what did you think?
10th-Jun-2008 05:23 pm (UTC)
Ah well. As long as there are books in there, I suppose she won't mind.
10th-Jun-2008 04:56 pm (UTC)
Depends who this Madam Price is and whether she's alive or not. If she's alive, or recently dead, the books will get all messy. If she's a mummy, though, the books should be safe.

Still wondering how Hermione got into her, though. Is she half giant?
10th-Jun-2008 08:08 pm (UTC)
>>>Lily Evans was actually a 22 year old female, she had long red hair from her father which she kept piled underneath her hat, emerald eyes from her mother and a pout like her grandmothers.

Oh, how I like it when characters carry around their parents' parts! I guess it's probably sustainable expression, but still...

>>>Disclaim Her

Gladly. Neither this author nor this fic are belong to Vivian Lake. Vivian is not, in any way (exept moral satisfaction ), profit from not owning them.

>>>Marriage is when two people who love each other very much join together in front of a priest and witnesses

So there's no such thing as secular marriage? Only religious ceremony counts? Atheists can't marry? That's why Jareth is not married, I suppose... Or, maybe, goblins have some religion, but it's somehow priestless?
11th-Jun-2008 04:31 am (UTC)
You're right. Seems I haven't been married for the last twenty-four years as I thought, as there was no priest involved. We had witnesses though, does that help?
11th-Jun-2008 02:07 am (UTC)
No one else was in the library not now, not even the Library

The library wasn't in itself? I guess Euclid was on to something.

Harry Potter butt naked taped to a pillar inside the Great hall.

This sounds like the punchline to one of those "all I want for Christmas" icons.

my Prefect badge buzzed

Well at least she was considerate and set it to vibrate. I don't want to know what sort of ringtone she has.

After that, we come for you... your boy, and your little cat too," he sneered.

So is he a gangsta, or the Wicked Witch of the West?

a hot tube

Well get an oven mitt or something and pick it up. Don't just leave it on the floor. Honestly, people.

Hermione looked non puss

Of course she's "non puss". Gryffindor, you know? Kind of the opposite of "puss"?

a blond hound monster

So is that like a Grim, only... blond?

Two months after his visit with Dr. Ledam Jackson was at the place the medallion lead. His father’s cave. Someone had stolen the medallion from his father and before he could retrieve it he died.

You should shop this idea to Disney. I bet they'd like to make a movie out of it.

warm hazel eyes which were covered with spectacles.

Pirates wear glasses. You heard it here first.

look he is wearing specks he shouldn’t of saw me

No, no, see, it's the other way around. Without them he wouldn't be able to see you.

“my names Lily caption”

Is her middle name Macro?

her tempter flaring to life.

She had been a necrophiliac up til this point.

her endless green orbs.

Um, so, her eyes are, like, the size of the entire universe?

James groaned under the pressure of the old mans sword.

AH HA HA HA HA that's a good one. That's up there with Harry rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco and Severus being a pushing, thrusting young man.

STOMP STOMP STOMP



“Because I don’t love anyone, Harry.”
[...]
“Harry, if this did happen, you must be aware that I am a selfish, possessive man, and that I do not share well and that I get jealous.”


I could actually kind of see Jareth saying these things, although not phrasing them in this way.
14th-Jun-2008 09:22 am (UTC)
So is he a gangsta, or the Wicked Witch of the West?

The Wicked Wigger of the West End?
14th-Jun-2008 08:30 pm (UTC)
Hmm... can you be a "wigger" if you're actually black? (I thought it was a portmanteau for "white nigga"?)
16th-Jun-2008 08:26 pm (UTC)
*Thinks* Well, I agree that boys from boarding schools in the Highlands of Scotland wouldn't really make great gangstas, so he's kind of got a point. (Really, Dean as gang leader?! Just what was the Suethor smoking?)
12th-Jun-2008 04:24 am (UTC)
butt naked

This mistake will never not amuse me.
12th-Jun-2008 08:01 am (UTC)
What, the Americanism factor? Well, that fic's an ill-advised crossover with Veronica Mars, so I suppose it makes a twisted kind of sense.
12th-Jun-2008 11:07 pm (UTC)
Oh, do you all not say that? The phrase is "buck naked." :D
12th-Jun-2008 11:10 pm (UTC)
I've heard it either way, but a lot of Americans do say "butt naked", yes.
12th-Jun-2008 11:12 pm (UTC)
Oh! I'm American and I've never heard "butt naked" outside of badfic so I assumed it was wrong, lol. I had no idea it was a legitimate construction!
16th-Jun-2008 07:35 pm (UTC)
It's not really. I believe it's what's referred to as an "Egg Corn"
16th-Jun-2008 07:39 pm (UTC)
...a what?
16th-Jun-2008 07:47 pm (UTC)
As far as I know:

An eggcorn occurs when the user thinks they understand a certain phrase's etymology, but in fact do not, thus getting the phrase wrong. For example, "free rein" - a lot of people nowadays spell it "free reign". They think they know what it means, and in fact "free reign" does make a sort of sense, but it isn't the original meaning. (Quite a lot of horse-related metaphors are becoming eggcorns nowadays because few people travel by horseback.)

perposterice had an entire Eggcorn Challenge in 2006. (Skip back 40 entries and you'll find it.)
16th-Jun-2008 08:13 pm (UTC)
Cool! I'd never heard the term before. *Wikipedias* Well! You learn something new every day. Thank you, coveredinmice, and terrible fanfic authors, for educating me. Again.
16th-Jun-2008 08:22 pm (UTC)
Promise me you'll read the real reason Snape killed Dumbledore. It's a gem.
16th-Jun-2008 08:49 pm (UTC)
LOL, it's like Vogon poetry.
17th-Jun-2008 02:04 am (UTC)
An Egg Corn is a misspelling, intentional or otherwise, that often has humourous effects. It can also cause double meanings. The term comes from Acorn, which someone along the line spelled as "Egg Corn"

The best are when the new spellings add another meaning that seems strangely appropriate, and yet not. Such as "Butt Naked" and "Old-Timer's Disease"
12th-Jun-2008 07:16 pm (UTC)
Oh my God, I must marry you for mentioning Middlesbrough, the closest thing I'll ever have to a half-decent home town <3

"which was the only thing covering up his father's day"
In light of the coming Sunday, I wish to say that I'm glad I'm not in England so I don't have to die inside every time it's mentioned now.

"Jackson had 23 pirates on board his shit"
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE PIRATES EATING!?

"endless green orbs"
WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"Dear god, I know I have not been the greatest lately and i apologize, but we really need to get though this."
Also I want a pony. Yours faithfully, Lily Evans. xxx
13th-Jun-2008 07:39 am (UTC)
*Disturbed* If Middlesbrough counts as half-decent, where are you from, the South Bank? (Also no need to marry me, my mum is from Middlesbrough. <3)
13th-Jun-2008 02:08 pm (UTC)
Nah, I'm from Billingham. It's not particularly awful, just... bland and small. With a side-helping of chav. Very small chav.
16th-Jun-2008 07:48 pm (UTC)
My mum says she remembers it well! XD (And I live on the west coast of Cumbria, so I can't talk.)
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