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Covered In Mice
Chapter 63: Up And Atom! 
17th-Jun-2008 04:08 pm
St. Mango's

A lot of disturbing sexual content this week: Draco thrashing Hermione’s moth, Ron and Harry eloping with Molly, and Lily fathering James’s children. If you can get past that lot, however, this chapter’s a corker. (Although, wtf is it with that tree thing?)

 

Best Worst New Word: “Granville”. Sorry, but this is not an appropriate name for a Dark Lord. It sounds more like an old folks’ home.

The Heartbreak Year

 

“Night Ron, I love you!” Hermione Granger told her boyfriend, Ron Weasly. He didn’t know what was wrong with him, but he was acting different lately. He seemed distracted and not all their.

*

“So have you heard any news on Granville lately?”

 

His smile turned into an uncomfortable look that Hermione was puzzled by, but he said, “No, no news”

 

Granville was a decedent of Tom Riddle, mainly known as Lord Voldemort. He was about their age, about seventeen or eighteen. Lately wizards have been turning up dead or tortured, all saying it was Granville. He was an evil wizard who many of Voldemort’s followers now followed him. Nobody knew his pan besides him and it looked like he wanted to keep it that way. All of his victims say it was he and then mysteriously die. Harry was currently trying to figure out what to do what about him.

*

Hermione looked at herself in the mirror, she had changed. The last time Ron had seen her she was the bushy haired, bucked teeth, no figure Hermione. She was a new Hermione. She still had curly hair, but it wasn’t bushy. It was light colored, like a light brown. It was long and fell down past her shoulders. Her teeth were white and perfectly straight. And man had she grown a figure! Her body was like a goddess. Her chest was the perfect size, she had a skinny stomach, and her legs were what guys drooled over. She even had a nice tan from helping the Weaslys work on the garden.

 

She sighed, she needed to stop thinking about Ron. He was gone, he wasn’t coming back. He’s been gone for two years and there’s no use waiting around for him to come prancing back into her life. She was over him, way over him. She couldn’t love that jerk! But she did. She would never get over him.

*

“Thanks” she said as she kissed him on the check.

 

Charlie grinned. He looked at her again and she had the same looks in her eye as she did. Lust and loneness.

*

“You’re a amazing kisser” He told her.

 

“You’re not so bad yourself” She smiled.

 

“Well, the most sexiest woman I have ever made out with”

*

She giggled and said, “Ron was never this good at kissing”. She said it before she knew what she was saying.

 

“What?” he asked, now serious.

 

“Nothing she said quickly.

 

“Did you just say something about Ron?”

 

“Um-n-no” she lied.

 

“Hermione, let me tell you something, when you are making out with another guy don’t talk about your exes!” He yelled as he got up off the bed.

 

“But Charli-” She didn’t even get to finish calling out his name because he had ran out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

*

Ron Weasly was having a horrible time. He had given up a year ago to ever see home again, to see Hermione again. Harry had gone completely mad, saying they were one step closer to finding Granville. Ron snorted, all they knew was that he was looking for information that could possibly make him invincible, maybe even immortal. They searched high and low for an object that would hold this information or power.

*

Hermione opened her eyes to the sound of Mrs. Weasly’s voice. She guessed that she was waking everyone up. Hermione glanced up at her clock and it was only six forty-five. She groaned and put her head back on her pillow. Mrs. Weasly’s voice had gotten louder and Hermione knew she was coming closer. Hermione dug her face deeper into her pillow as Mrs. Weasly banged the door open.

 

“C’mon ladies! Up and atom! I got some news for you, then we have some work to do” Molly said cheerfully.

*

(Hogwarts is having a reunion party.)

Everyone had finished by five and then they started getting ready for the party. While everyone cleaned and worked on the house, Mrs. Weasly had gone up to her room gotten together all their outfits they were going to wear. By the time Hermione and Ginny had finished taking their showers, their dresses were in their room. Ginny had been chosen a dark green dress that reached just above her knee and had stapes. She had matching high heels to go with it. Mrs. Weasly had picked out a similar dress, but it was a different color. Hers was staples navy blue dress that also came just above her knees.

*

Hermione turned back around and walked up to the Weasly’s. Ginny was just about to say something when some one’s voice boomed over all of the quests.

*

Harry and Ron inside Hogwarts, once their school and once their home. No one was in the hallways and they guessed everyone was in the Great Hall eating super.

*

“It can’t be! That Harry Potter and Ron Weasly!” someone shouted.

 

“Harry? Ron?” It was Mrs. Weasly.

 

They turned and saw her running towards them. She was crying, behind her were the rest of the Weaslys. They ran half way and eloped her in a bone-crushing hug.

*

“That is not it happened!” Neville said,

 

“You came up to be and fell on your face and when I helped you off the ground she asked me to the Yule Ball!” Hermione said, laughing.

 

Come one time

 

(the fic’s summary:)

Draco and hermione in a whirlwind of imagination and unforgivable curses. Forget books 6 and 7. A plotless fable of carnal intimacies

*

He couldn’t believe that he was caressing the body of Hermione Granger. Everytime he remembered that the girl was Hermione, he got more kicked and kneaded her chest with more excitement. But his excitement turned to surprise when Hermione’s hands reached his twitching man.

*

He thrashed her moth with his devouring kiss while his fingers played scavenger hunt inside Hermione, probably looking for the numerous moans that she let out inside his mouth.

 

The tension was too great. With every moan that she made, his pant grew tighter. She was wet and leaking, it was the right time for him to come out.

*

Draco, breathless and charged up, dropped his pants and boxers and pounced on her, desperate to make her come to full nudity. Her dress slid like butter on her hot body and he started kissing her breasts. The kissing turned to licking and then to sucking. Each time his tongue mated her pink nipples, she felt more and more empty. She stealthily pulled her dripping panty down and pulled his hips closer to her, feeling his throbbing man on her wet and wanting woman.

 

A New Spin on an Old Story

 

(the fic’s summary:)

Hermione wondered, If a tree fell on her head in the woods & no one was around to hear her scream, did that mean she would be alone the rest of her life? Draco told her instead of Mr. Right, she should look for Mr. Right Now. She thought he was Mr. Right.

*

An old adage said, “If a tree fell in the woods, and no one was there to hear it, would it make a sound?”

 

According to the laws of physics, there would only be a sound if there were someone there to hear it. No receptor meant there was nothing there to pick up the sound waves, hence no sound. Hermione Granger sat at her desk at work and wondered something. If a tree fell on her head in the middle of a forest, and no one was around to hear her scream, did that mean that she would be alone for the rest of her life? Yes, those were the weird thoughts that went through her head. She sighed and grabbed her purse and coat, and decided that it didn’t matter, for the laws of physics didn’t mean a hill of beans to her anyway.

*

Meanwhile, everyone she knew was getting married. Ron married Luna. Harry married Ginny, and Lavender was set to marry her long time boyfriend, Mike, in February. She would never get married. If she got married, then she wouldn’t be alone in the woods when the tree fell and hit her on the head.

 

She remembered that on the night of the paper’s Christmas party, Mike had brought Draco Malfoy to the party, and Hermione felt a small, miniscule, tiny little, ‘feeling’ for the man she once disliked. He was handsome, charming, and well, handsome. Yes, he was so handsome that it begged to be stated twice.

 

The Prince's Marriage

 

(the fic’s summary:)

Princess Lily Evans of Tisbot is being forced to marry the Prince James Potter of Clowath. Prince James is willingly walking down the aisle. He soon realizes the pains of having a red tempered wife.

*

Disclaimer: Own nothing of the Harry Potter world. There would be no way I could write such a long detailed book.

*

I was being forced to walk down the aisle to reach a man I detested and planned on doing so for the years we would be married. I was not looking forward to my own wedding, I admit it was beautiful. But he was not my true love. Every girl has fantasy’s of meeting and marrying there own true love, being a princess only intensified these fantasies for me. My mother Sasha used to tell me fairy tails her mother would tell her to get her to sleep. If only I could have that chance. I never got the chance to be normal though I was a princess.

*

The Minster stepped forward with his book and asked them to face each other. Lily handed her flowers to Olivia who stood beside her and turned to face James allowing him to pick her other hand up.

 

“Prince James Potter of Clowath and Princess Lily Evans of Tisbot are here to join kingdoms in a holy matrimonial way.” The Minster’s old crackle voice said.

*

“Do you Princess Lily Evans of Tisbot accept the Prince James Potter of Clowath hand in marriage from here on out? To father his children and stay true to his word?

 

“I- I do”

*

I saw her walk slowly down the aisle it was obvious she was preoccupied with her thoughts. She looked beautiful I knew she would. However she ceased to amaze me even after she amazes me. Her long red hair was in soft curls framing her face her dress clung to the right parts of her small body. He gulped he knew she was a spitfire. He looked forward to this marriage not dreaded. As he would marry this beauty, a beauty he has always liked. The flowers around them complimented her white dress.

 

Underarms

 

(the fic’s summary:)

really wierd,no idea where i got it from but, harry's shaving and hermione walks in on him. and then ron walks in on those too and starts yelling about stuff.i can't write summaries,but trust me,the story is better,but very wierd.

 

(and one of the best titles ever:)

 

Death by History expirementing with titles

Comments 
17th-Jun-2008 04:07 pm (UTC)
Best Worst New Word: “Granville”. Sorry, but this is not an appropriate name for a Dark Lord. It sounds more like an old folks’ home.
***The old folk's home in Smallville, no less

Lately wizards have been turning up dead or tortured, all saying it was Granville
***The MoM declared necromancy was OK when interviewing witnesses

Forget books 6 and 7. A plotless fable of carnal intimacies
***You mean youe fic or books 6&7?

He thrashed her moth with his devouring kiss while his fingers played scavenger hunt inside Hermione, probably looking for the numerous moans that she let out inside his mouth.
***OUCH! Moans of pains, no doubt.

The tension was too great. With every moan that she made, his pant grew tighter. She was wet and leaking, it was the right time for him to come out.
***I can think of better times to admit you're gay, but it's your fic...

dropped his pants and boxers
***Someone give this suethor a Britpick!

Hermione wondered, If a tree fell on her head in the woods & no one was around to hear her scream, did that mean she would be alone the rest of her life?
***Yes, but that would only be minutes.

According to the laws of physics, there would only be a sound if there were someone there to hear it.
***Really? Laws of physics? You live and learn.

“Do you Princess Lily Evans of Tisbot accept the Prince James Potter of Clowath hand in marriage from here on out? To father his children and stay true to his word?
***It was bound to happen with all the mpreg around.
18th-Jun-2008 01:16 am (UTC)
Forget books 6 and 7. A plotless fable of carnal intimacies
***You mean youe fic or books 6&7?


Aha! Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince was Snarry porn. I knew it!
17th-Jun-2008 04:47 pm (UTC)
Granville made me laugh. I thought it was some weird sort of nickname for Neville's grandmother.

Nobody knew his pan besides him and it looked like he wanted to keep it that way

"My precioussss," Granville cooed, stroking his pan's castiron handle.

Everytime he remembered that the girl was Hermione, he got more kicked and kneaded her chest with more excitement

He sounds like my cat when she decides my ribcage is too hard for her liking.

If she got married, then she wouldn’t be alone in the woods when the tree fell and hit her on the head.

And that's terrible.
17th-Jun-2008 05:56 pm (UTC)
Sorry, Suethor, but for me Granville will always be the dorky, daydreaming, downtrodden shop assistant in Ronnie Barker's 1970s/80s sitcom, Open All Hours! He's the one in the pinny...
Granville descended from Voldemort? *sniggers*. Er, no.
19th-Jun-2008 08:28 pm (UTC)
I should have read the comments first - that's the only Granville for me too XD
11th-Dec-2008 09:23 am (UTC) - G-G-Granville
Well we never did find out who his father was...I wonder if Lord Voldemort loved his mother dearly or if he used to get it on discount?
11th-Dec-2008 09:32 am (UTC) - Re: G-G-Granville
No, except that he was Hungarian. I don't think Tom Riddle was Hungarian. Unless he wasn't Hungarian at all, but hungry... in which case, grocery discounts would have been very welcome. Hey, I think you're on to something here...

Edited at 2008-12-11 09:32 (UTC)
18th-Jun-2008 12:43 am (UTC)
She was a new Hermione.

I want a new Hermione
One with all the right curves
One that seems to have got a tan
Make the boys fall in lurve

Up and atom!

Eggcorn ahoy! (See? I can be taught!)

Hers was staples navy blue dress

Ah yes, haute couture chez Staples. That was easy!

they guessed everyone was in the Great Hall eating super.

"How was the eating?"
"It was super; thanks for asking!"

behind her were the rest of the Weaslys. They ran half way and eloped her in a bone-crushing hug.

One polygamous happy Weasley family.

A plotless fable of carnal intimacies

I've got no problem with this, actually. At least they said it up front.

But his excitement turned to surprise when Hermione’s hands reached his twitching man.

"Hermione, why do you keep touching my servant?"

He thrashed her moth with his devouring kiss

...no words. No. Words.

Edited at 2008-06-18 00:44 (UTC)
18th-Jun-2008 03:20 am (UTC)
Lately wizards have been turning up dead or tortured, all saying it was Granville

It always helped the MLES when the dead ones told them who killed them.

Nobody knew his pan besides him

Though they had a good lead saying that it was a patti-pan.

“But Charli-” She didn’t even get to finish calling out his name

How much finishing did she need to do? What does the e really matter?

Granville makes me keep thinking of Neville.

Up and atom!

Atom Ant!

Come one time

This fic is just... there are no words.
18th-Jun-2008 04:58 am (UTC)
“Hermione, let me tell you something, when you are making out with another guy don’t talk about your exes!” He yelled as he got up off the bed.

Ugh, this sounds like it was written by some 14 year ol- wait, I just made the connection.

C’mon ladies! Up and atom!

I can't read that without hearing Rainier Wolfcastle saying "up and at them!" in my brain.

“That is not it happened!” Neville said,

What you say?!

Ginny had been chosen a dark green dress that reached just above her knee and had stapes. She had matching high heels to go with it.

How exactly does one find heels that match a dress that has bones from your inner ear on it?

“Prince James Potter of Clowath and Princess Lily Evans of Tisbot are here to join kingdoms in a holy matrimonial way.”

Then they will go elsewhere and join kingdoms in a biblical way.

it didn’t matter, for the laws of physics didn’t mean a hill of beans to her anyway.

I hope Hermione gets someone to fix the cliche curse she's been put under.
18th-Jun-2008 05:27 am (UTC)
Then they will go elsewhere and join kingdoms in a biblical way.

LOL!
19th-Jun-2008 08:26 pm (UTC)
IT'S GRANVILLE FROM OPEN ALL HOURS!

"“You’re not so bad yourself” She smiled.
“Well, the most sexiest woman I have ever made out with”"

...I'm sure Charlie would make a *lovely* woman.

"kneaded her chest"

I will never understand why boys think this is sexy.
19th-Jun-2008 08:33 pm (UTC)
"kneaded her chest"

I will never understand why boys think this is sexy.


I don't either, but it's apparently a type of stimulation some women like. Everyone's breasts are different, lol.
20th-Jun-2008 05:29 am (UTC)
*tries to imagine a world in which my breasts enjoy being kneaded*

That must be really odd... I'm probably going to be thinking about this all day.
4th-Jul-2008 08:16 am (UTC)
“Night Ron, I love you!” Hermione Granger told her boyfriend, Ron Weasly. He didn’t know what was wrong with him, but he was acting different lately.
That's because he's a Night Ron, not a Day Ron. Day Ron would be acting different early.

“So have you heard any news on Granville lately?
Hee. I guess I know why it's Granville - remember Jean Baptiste Grenouille, from "The Perfume"?

Nobody knew his pan besides him and it looked like he wanted to keep it that way.
He killed people with his Mighty Secret Frying Pan? As Beatles sang: "Bang bang, Maxwell's silver hammer came down on her head..."

A plotless fable of carnal intimacies
Yes! Only the uncouth Philistines call it porn...

She was wet and leaking, it was the right time for him to come out.
"Um, Hermione", he said. "What's your opinion on same-sex relationships?"

According to the laws of physics, there would only be a sound if there were someone there to hear it. No receptor meant there was nothing there to pick up the sound waves, hence no sound.
When Heisenberg uncertainty principle gets mixed with a relativity theory, a result is a bit Discworldish.
But... does mean that when I'm not reading that fic, it stops existing?
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